Making a choice. Choosing. Making a decision. Direction. Opting out, opting in. Knowing what's best. Recognising what isn't right.
To a dancer, all of the above words can strike fear straight into the heart! The dancing profession can be a fickle one. It can often be about being 'in the right place at the right time' - to utilise an overused phrase. For how are we to know which is the right audition to attend, when two are scheduled at the same time? How are we to know whether staying for an extra year of training is right, or whether it's best to go out into the working world? How do we make such important decisions, when they seem so influential on our ultimate futures?
Recently, a few students of mine have approached me in Morocco, asking me what I would recommend for their path in the next few years, in terms of choosing training schools or colleges. In addition, students that I used to teach in England have done the very same, via Facebook and similar. Intrinsically, all of them collectively are asking me the same thing. But there is a difference between my British students and their Moroccan counterparts - opportunity, and location.
In my opinion, the British education and training system is fantastic. By coming away from it for this period of time, I have come to realise this. When I was 16, I didn't know what I wanted to do. But I always knew I could do anything I wanted, within my abilities. It was never a case of whether there would be a college course, or even funding, that would suit and provide for my needs - it was just a case of whether I could achieve it for myself. It is only that I am now living here in a Morocco that I truly realise the treasure that there is back in my own country. Yes, Morocco is largely a developed country - and a successful one - but for a dancer, there is relatively little opportunity to pursue the career they may desire.
Like everyone, I have had to make some pretty weighty decisions, particularly in regards to my dancing. Some decisions were made for me, at the time, and some decisions I now look back and realise I could have been stronger. But I regret nothing. How can I, when I know I am in the right place now?
As in the film 'Sliding Doors' we never know what effect a small choice can make. But amongst all the web links, school recommendations, and copied and pasted dancer information pages, I have one crucial piece of advice that I will happily give to both my questioning students now, and those of my future, at Liberty's;
Listen to yourself. Listen to what you want. Don't listen to fears, keep pushing forward for what you really know is the right thing, even if it is the most terrifying option. I spent years in a personal situation that prevented me from being all of who I am, and one of the main reasons I spent so long in that place, was because I kept ignoring myself, and I was too afraid to leave. In the end, the decision was made for me, and I was inadvertently forced into a new life, where I had to pick up the pieces and make a new life for myself. In doing so, I allowed myself to follow my dream, having realised I then had nothing left to lose. And I could not be any more grateful now, that I did.
Dancing is a risk. But any situation, as I've discovered is fixable. You are never trapped. You can leave jobs. You can change schools. You can email dancers, and make new connections. You can make online profiles. You can study. You can turn around and change your mind. This is the nature of dance, and of the lives we lead. The main thing is, do the thing that will keep you dancing the most. Push yourself to do the hardest thing, then if you fall just short of it it will still be better than staying safe.
I was once advised by a great friend that essentially, it is all as simple as just working hard to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be - and to keep dancing! It is this ethos that carries me, drives me, and keeps me from the edge.
Because no matter what, there is always freedom. And one day, there will be Liberty's.
HV.
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